Is it possible that i maybe has homosexual tendencies?

I hate gays. I belittle them and think they are scums. I said that so many times in chat rooms, but recently it came to my attention that i am so against homosexuality and i really really hate women. I was thinking i hate them, because my wife left me with another man and i was dumped several times. I have sadistic tendencies towards women. I like to abuse and use them. I can do that only in online because i am not a good looking or attractive man. I was wondering if there is any possibility that i can be a gay, because i am in depression all the time. I am not able to function properly. Looks like i am watching porn all the time to prove myself that i am not gay. I chose a religion that hates and degrades women.